Apparently, the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council or NAMBLA (cheers Daily Show) has recently banned the Dire Straits song "Money for Nothing" in perpetuity because it contains the lines "that little faggot has his own jet airplane, that little faggot he's a millionaire," citing the "Gays Are Weaker, Sadder, and Less Competent Than us, so Lets Protect Them and in Doing So Not Only Tacitly Imply Our Superiority, but Make Sure Those Limp Wristed Homos Know Where They Stand" bill of 2008. I agree, it doesn't have quite the same ring to it that "The Emancipation Proclamation" does, but you can't fault them for trying.
If you read this blog regularly you know how I feel about censorship, so I won't be taking that tack today. Instead, I'd like to point out that in trying to protect one group from discrimination, the CBSC has really discriminated against everyone. They are, in essence, saying that one group is deserving of their protection and yet other groups are not. But what about the other groups who aren't being protected? Is it ok to call me a "cracker" for being white? Is it ok to call me "nerd" for having a favorite Dr Who writer (Stephen Moffat girlish squeeeeee), what about calling me a "lazy bastard" just because I'm . . . well, a lazy bastard? Why am I not being protected from any and all offensive language that might sully my virgin ears or cause me a moment's distress? Are gays better than me? Or, is it exactly the opposite, are they weaker and in need of more protection? What about lesbians, they are gay, but is their unique ability to play club level unlimited arc softball somehow protecting them from homophobic slurs and thus miking it unnecessary to protect them in the same way as the fanny bandits? Write me a letter if you can figure out what political correctness demands, because I've never been able to figure it out.
CBSC, let me say on behalf of the groups you've chosen to ignore that we are insulted and outraged by your ridiculous censorship laws, and let me say on behalf of the group you've chosen to patronize that they're insulted and outraged by your ridiculous censorship laws.
But, who am I to sermonize, the CBSC has spoken, and if there is one law of the land I always respect it's pompous, sanctimonious, Canadian governing bodies in wigs. So, seeing as "faggot" is out, I figured I'd write a quick list of some of my favorite terms for gay men, and maybe my readers can toss a few back. Remember, only your favorites, we are looking for quality, not quantity
He-dyke
Ass-bandit
Poo-puncher
Puppet-master
Queermosexual
Pole Dandy
Cock Gobbler
Prison Straight
Interpretive Dance Fan
Dandy Whore-hole
and finally . . . Tom Cruise
For a complete list, watch any special with Lisa Lampanelli, the Queen of Mean
And, since the post would never be complete without including the video so offensive as to warrant immediate action, here it is:
2 comments:
How bizarre! I remember being fascinated by that song when it first came out because it was so different to anything else I had heard and the component parts were so haunting. In the intervening two decades, I never realised that it contained any references to faggots. Shame on Mark Knopfler's diction!
Flipping heck, banning songs just makes people even more keen to listen to them. Have the Canadians learned nothing from the BBC trying to ban Frankie Goes To Hollywood's 'Relax'? Another great tune that doesnt go away.
Like you, I abhor censorship by Big Brother and adore Stephen Moffat!
Totally agree! If you ban something, they will come. I really doubt there would have been "Frankie says Relax," t-shirts if there hadn't been such a puritanical uprising in response to that song.
Christians and social conservatives (not fiscal conservatives, just talking about the ones who want my porn banned) take my advice, stop throwing Br'er Rabbit into the briar patch . . . it's getting sad.
Oh, on a side note, the "faggot" moments during the song are direct quotes from a worker in a store Mark overheard. He thought they were so great he put them in a song =) I have always wondered if the worker recognized his handiwork.
Post a Comment